sound of crying

beat her beat her
bruise her outsides
tell her you love her
making her want to cry
crawling on the ground
out of breath
just crying is the sound
the sound is all around
the scars on me
all over for everyone to see
that might just give you a clue
a small clue that I HATE YOU
why cant you see
that everytime you are in the room i shake
hoping that you dont have another outbreak
and i cant do anything but cry
so at night i close my eyes
and try
try to imagine a life of happiness
a life with you
but it slowly turns to hate
as i hear her scream at me again
i hold on to any thought in my head
to try to understand
why its always my fault
and that my little brother cant understand
but i cant
i cant jus understand
i cant think of anything but my fresh wounds glisening
glisening like the big smiles on a family
the fakeness of that family
when they share a big group hug
then back home again
the yelling again
th pain again
and the sound of crying